Salem's Warlocks Offended by Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen has said a few things in lo these past few weeks that I would venture to guess have offended some people.  Among them would be…

“I am on a drug. It’s called Charlie Sheen. It’s not available, because if you try it once you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.”

You know, stuff like that.   But apparently, his rants have extended to peeving some humorless warlocks in Salem, Mass.

the dating genie reviewsthe drug ambien is a self proclaimed warlock of renown.  And he has made it known to some of the most reputable media outlets (hong jonghyun dating scandal) that he isn’t cool with Sheen referring to himself as a “Vatican assassin warlock”.  Apparently warlocking has nothing to do with Vatican assasinry.

Says Day, “If he made that comment against the Christians or Jewish people, there would be outrage,” he told “But here we are, a legally-recognized religion and we get slammed by an obviously disturbed actor.”

Maybe… or perhaps “Vatican Assassin Presbyterian” just doesn’t sound as bad ass.  Either way, Day and Salem’s Coven of the Raven Moon have performed a ritual to bind Sheen and prohibit him from using the offensive Warlockian rhetoric.

They are doing this to “…magically bind Mr. Sheen, not to harm him, but to simply prevent him from using this word in such a negative manner in the future.”

Day continues, “If Mr. Sheen is open to it, our coven would be willing to perform a cleansing on both him, his home, and his career.”

Some may be quick to assume that this is a publicity grab on the part of Day and his cohorts, to cash in on the publicity stunt meltdown of Charlie Sheen, but who are we to judge?  Besides, it just adds a little extra flavor to the already tasty dish that has been the Sheenstravaganza.

See the witches and warlocks, who have surely now earned their place on Sheen’s list of “trolls”, in action below:

The Salem Witches conduct a Ritual to Heal and Bind Charlie Sheen


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