El Chupacabra: Mythical Monster or Major Disappointment?
July 19, 2009 by natalina
Filed under Cryptozoology, The Unexplained
I need to start this post by stating that I received the inspiration from my friend Tom, also known as DJ Tommy Fly Pants (Actually, I’m the only person who calls him that!), who inquired as to why I’ve never featured this sweetheart of the cryptozoological world on Extraordinary Intelligence.
El Chupacabra has captured the fancy of more than a few seekers of the unknown. First of all, it is really fun to say. Ellll Chupacabrrrrra! I think that’s one of the major selling points. For best effect, you really have to rrrrroll those R’s like they’re goin’ out of business. Last Christmas, I bought my brother a t-shirt that says, “El Chupacabra doesn’t believe in you either.” Isn’t that snazzy? I thought so, too.
First, a little background. El Chupacabra or Los Chupacabras is a cryptid that is said to inhabit the Americas. Its name literally means “goat sucker”. First reported in Puerto Rico, this little sucker (pardon me) has also been spotted in Mexico and the U.S. Generally, this guy is known for sucking the blood from livestock, particularly goats, and is said to be quite the nuisance. Physical descriptions based on eyewitness accounts have varied over the years, but the popular opinion is that he has spines that cover his back and down his tail, he’s about the size of a small bear, is somewhat reptilian in appearance with grey or green scaly skin, and hops about like a wee kangaroo. Oh, and he always has fangs. Sometimes he’s reported to have wings or glowing eyes, but always El Chupacabra is described to be a very nasty little bugger.
In recent years, it seems that we are coming ever closer to tracking down the elusive goat sucking monster from the nether world…and I gotta tell you, it’s been a bit of a let down.
Several people have come forward with photos, video footage, and actual carcasses claiming them to be El Chupacabra evidence. For the most part, these things don’t look anything like the creature that I’ve envisioned. In fact, they don’t look much different than a sad little dog with a serious case of mange. Decide for yourself.
Rancher Phylis Canion of Cuero, Texas found the carcass of a strange creature on the road. The above is the head of this animal, which really looks like a dog to me.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6vRdy4SO4Y
Hey Australians! I think that looks an awful lot like a wallaby, don’t you??
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggMWBHivne0
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYemBLuou90
I have one observation about the above video…El Chupacabra has some giant…cajones. Just sayin’.
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzMkhDePrnY
So, if these pieces of evidence are meant to be the real Chupacabra, it kinda takes the wind out of my sails. Until we know for certain, I think I’m going to pretend that El Chupacabra is actually the following creature:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlT8XyMrOFk
Nat yer and angel and i am never more entertained than when you inject your silly humor in your writing. You are just too funny. Elusive goat sucking monster from the nether world? Good god girlfriend you are too much. Remember when you worked at Amazon and you would send me silly little emails about the crazy stuff people would buy? Remember there was that one chick who bought Chupacabra repellent from some seller? God I wish I could remember your snappy comment about it. I love you. You are like a neon green sunshine on a dismal gray morning.
Sweetie, that is the cutest comment ever…a neon green sunshine? That’s so me!
I do recall something about Chupacabra spray. And it was meant to be serious, wasn’t it? Oh how funny!
I imagine that if people knew how much pleasure call center workers got out of poking fun at customers, they’d be a little more polite next time they call!
I feel that beings the JUGGALO’s haven’t put in there story yet, being one myself, the Chupacabra to me includes a history of killings because it simply needs to feed. Do i think that shes real? Hell Yeah, and she deserves to! Different things come upon people different, especially when they don’t want to hea it. The Chupacabra is a fiend to most, but a brother of punishment to us. Different views are open. DUCES!
In the second video from the bottom, the last picture it showed, the idiots who thought that was a chupacabra have got to be freakin stupid!! I bet half the animals shown were either a wolf, dog, or coyote with some sort of wierd disease, or a kangaroo someone let out with some sort of wierd disease. I bet most of the people who took those pictures would get pictures of anything that will get on the news. Them people just go on a wild goose chase for nothing. That just makes me mad, and I’m just a kid!! If they are gonna go looking for something, I say bring a tranquilizer, a big cage, and a real clear camcorder. If you don’t bring a tranquilizer and you are chasing it and you have a clear shot at it, you are never gonna know what it is. It’s like with that guy in the police car chasing that thing. Thats why i say to bring one. Anyway, sorry so long. Luv the website!! PLZ let me know what you think!!
